Indian wedding Traditions
Indian Wedding Traditions
One billion people, more than 1600 spoken languages, 28 culturally
different states, over 9 religions, one country – India defines
diversity. This diversity, seen in every realm of Indian life starting
from food & clothing to customs & traditions, is reflected in
Indian marriages as well. Thus, describing all the nuances of the
country’s wedding traditions in a single piece of writing would truly be
a herculean task. This article is a humble effort to give a glimpse
into a colorful and cultural extravaganza – the Indian wedding. We are
restricting to Hindu weddings in this article. In our culture, marriage
symbolizes not just the sacred union of two individuals, but of the
coming together of two families and extended families as well! Their
level of involvement is so profound that typically the family decides
the bride/groom. In fact, even till a few decades ago the bride and the
groom saw each other for the first time only on their wedding day.
This trend has changed in urban areas,
and in the present day, youngsters have a better say in choosing their
life partner. Families search for eligible partners for their children
through word of mouth or marriage priests primarily. However with the
internet revolution in India online matrimonial sites are also becoming
quite a hit! Arranged marriages are strictly intra-religion and
intra-caste. Compatibility of the couple is assessed on the basis of
horoscopes, and if good, then an alliance is sought for. In urban areas,
the couple goes a step further to interact and see if their interests
and natures match. If the alliance is agreeable to both parties, they
proceed to plan for the engagement ceremony and the wedding.
Though arranged marriages are still the
norm, love marriages are becoming a common occurrence these days,
predominantly in urban areas. Months before the wedding an engagement
ceremony, known as Mangni (in North India) or Nischitartham (in South
India), is held. The two families meet to perform rituals to make the
engagement official. A muhurat (auspicious date & time) for the
wedding is decided based on horoscopes. The couple is then blessed by
elders of both families, and is given gifts including jewellery and
clothing by their new family. In certain traditions, engagement is
marked by the exchange of rings between the bride and groom to be.
Indian engagement ceremonies are very elaborate and vibrant, a sort of
prequel to the main wedding, involving close friends and relatives.
The period between the engagement and
the marriage is one of great excitement and anticipation for both the
bride and groom to be. It is marked with a lot of fun-filled activities,
with both families getting to together to plan the wedding, to shop,
and getting to bond. Pre-wedding ceremonies Traditional Indian weddings
last a week, and start with pre-wedding ceremonies. Haldi is a ritual
holy bath during which turmeric (Haldi), oil and water is applied to
both the bride and groom by married women. This is followed by Mehendi
ceremony, during which the bride’s hands and feet are decorated with
intricate patterns by the application of Henna. On a lighter note, it is
believed that, deeper the color of the mehendi (henna) stronger is the
groom’s love for the bride. With foot tapping music and dances, this
‘ladies-only’ party lends a break from the otherwise more ritualistic
ceremonies. When the bride goes to the groom’s house after the wedding,
she is not expected to perform any housework until her mehendi has faded
away. Other important North-Indian pre wedding ceremonies include
Sangeet, and Tilak. Sangeet means music. As the name suggests, this
function is an evening of musical entertainment and merriment hosted by
the bride’s family. The main significance of this ceremony is that the
bride is introduced to all the members of her new family. As a part of
the Tilak ceremony, vermillion or kumkum is placed on the forehead of
the groom by all the male members of the bride’s family. Kumkum is a
sign of auspiciousness. Presents are given to the groom and his family,
requesting them to take care of the bride. Janavasam is a predominantly
south Indian tradition, where the groom is paraded around the town on a
chariot (or nowadays a open car!), the evening before the wedding.
In small towns and villages this event
serves to show the groom to the people, so that if they knew anything
about the groom that had to be brought to the notice of the bride’s
family, they could do so. This is similar to the Christian tradition of
the priest asking those present, if anyone had any objection to the
wedding. Wedding Attire Traditionally the bride wears a sari or a
lehenga which is highly ornate with gold and silver embroidery. The
color of the sari or the lehenga is of great significance, and is
different for different communities. The colors generally considered
auspicious for the occasion are, red, yellow, green or white. Red is
most common and it symbolizes prosperity, fertility and saubhagya
(marital bliss).
The bride also dons elaborate and
beautiful ornaments primarily made of gold and precious stones. Her hair
is plaited and decorated with flowers and jewelry. In north India, the
bride also wears a ghunghat (veil), draped modestly over her hair as a
sign of respect to the deities worshipped and the elders present. The
groom wears a dhoti or sherwani which also has a lot of subtle but
intricate embroidery.
The color of dhoti or the sherwani is
usually white, offwhite or beige. In North-India, the groom also wears a
turban with white flowers tied in suspended strings called the Sehra.
In some traditions, he may also sport a sword as part of his wedding
outfit. In most south Indian weddings, both the bride and the groom have
a kajal (black) mark on their cheek, to ward off ill omen and evil eye.
Though the bride and the groom clearly steal the show with their
exquisite outfits, the families of the bride and the groom, friends,
relatives and guests wear very grand clothes. Thus, a typical Indian
wedding is a very colorful affair! Wedding ceremony If one thinks this
is a lot of rituals, wait till the big wedding day.
The actual wedding ceremony itself is
around 3 hours long, not including many other smaller rituals before and
after the muhurat (auspicious time). The wedding is usually held at the
bride’s home or a wedding hall. The arrival of the groom is an
important and fun-filled event. The groom, dressed in his wedding
attire, leaves his home to the wedding venue on a decorated ghodi
(horse) or for the more extravagant, on a decorated elephant! Along with
the groom sits his ‘best man’ usually a younger brother, cousin or
nephew who acts as his caregiver. However, these days, these customs are
not seen any more as most grooms like to travel by luxury cars. The
groom is usually accompanied by his family members, relatives and
friends in a big procession (Baarat) with a lot of pomp and show
including music, orchestra, dance and fireworks. At the wedding venue,
the bride waits for the groom, with a Jaimala/Varamala, which is a
decorated garland. Soon after the groom arrives, the bride and groom
exchange garlands. On a lighter note, it is considered that, whoever
puts the garland first on their partner, will have an upper hand in the
marriage. Following this, the bride’s parents and elder members of the
family welcome the groom and the guests. The mother of the bride
performs the Aarti when the groom enters the house.
The Baraat and Jaimala are primarily
North-Indian traditions. In South-India, on the morning on the wedding
day, there is a ceremony called Kashi Yatra, during which, the groom
dressed simple attire, throws a fit (obviously a fake one), declaring
that he has decided to give up the institution of marriage to go to Kasi
(Varnasi) to take up sainthood. This is when the bride’s father/brother
humbly requests the groom to choose marriage over sainthood, convincing
him that the bride will assist him in his subsequent spiritual pursuit.
The couple exchanges garlands following this event, during which both
parties carry the bride and groom making it tougher for the other to put
the garland. This is another fun event, eliciting a lot of laughter.
Another popular north Indian tradition is Baasi Jawari or Joothe Churana
(stealing the shoes). The bride’s sisters hide the groom’s shoes, and
demand the groom money to have them returned. Apart from all the fun,
many pujas (prayers) are performed by the bride and the groom on the day
of the wedding. The bride does a Gowri puja (worshipping the Indian
goddess Parvathi), and the groom does a Ganesh puja (worshipping the
elephant headed Indian deity Ganesha), to gain their blessings, so that
the entire wedding runs smoothly without any hurdles. Kanyadaan or
giving away of the bride, is an important part of the main wedding
ritual. Kanyadaan is derived from the Sanskrit words kanya which means
virgin girl and daan which means giving away. This is performed by the
father of the bride, where he gives his daughter to the groom,
requesting him to accept her as an equal partner. Unlike in a Christian
wedding, the bride and groom marry each other and the priest only
facilitates the marriage by reciting mantras or holy hymns, but doesn’t
have the authority to declare them married. The bride and groom are
considered wed when the groom ties a mangalsutram/thali which is a
sacred thread that symbolizes his promise to take care of the bride as
long as he lives. The groom ties three knots when he ties the Thali,
symbolizing the gods Brahma, Vishnu and Maheshwara. The entire wedding
is done around an Agni Homam (sacred fire). Agni (fire god) is
considered as the main witnesses to the marriage. The bride and the
groom then circle the fire seven times, in a clockwise direction, called
Saat Phere which signifies seven goals of married life which include
religious and moral duties, prosperity, spiritual salvation and
liberation, and sensual gratification. The bride leads the Pheres first
and then the groom leads them, signifying equality of the two partners
and their determination to stand beside each other though happiness and
sorrow. Another interesting tradition is the Sapthapadhi which means
taking seven steps together. It is believed that if one follows seven
steps with another person, it is considered as a confirmation of their
eternal friendship. Thus in a wedding this symbolizes that the bride and
the groom will keep up their friendship for life and also partake
equally in both good and bad times in life.
The wedding culminates with the groom
applying vermillion or kumkum to the bride’s forehead, welcoming her as
his partner for life. This is the first time that kumkum is applied to
the forehead of woman, when the bridegroom himself adorns her with it.
In South-India, this is usually followed by the groom putting toerings
on the bride. The kumkum, the mangalsuthram and the toe-rings symbolize a
married woman. South Indian weddings also have a ceremony where the
groom shows the Arundhati Nakshatram (a subtle star in the Ursa Major
constellation) to the bride. Historically, Arundhati was the wife of
Sage Vashishta, and was considered to be the chastest of all women. It
is believed that by seeing the Arundhati star, the bride will be as
chaste as Arundhati herself. Some wedding traditions also include
wedding games for the couple to lighten the mood. In one such game they
are to retrieve a ring from a pot of colored water, and this is done
thrice to decide the winner. In another game, the bride and groom work
together, to untie a ball of knots, using only one hand each. This
symbolizes their perseverance in resolving together, issues that might
come up in life.
Other games include breaking papad on each other’s
head, playing with a ball of flowers. Food served during the wedding
ceremony is traditional and vegetarian. A wide variety of dishes are
served. The types of dishes vary extensively from region to region. In
South-India, food is served on banana leaf. Post – wedding ceremonies
After the wedding ceremony is over, the bride is bid farewell as she
leaves for her husband’s house. This is a very emotional moment for the
bride and her family, as she is leaving her parent’s family to join her
husband’s. In some traditions, the couple goes first to the bride’s
house, and after a few days leaves for the groom’s. In olden days, the
bride used to be carried to the groom’s house in a doli (palanquin).
Upon arrival at the groom’s house the newly-wed couple is greeted at the
doorstep with Aarti to ward off bad spirit. The bride then topples a
kalash (metal pot) of rice with her right leg. Following this, the
couple enters the house, taking the first step with the right leg. In
some traditions, the bride steps into a plate of vermillion mixed in
water, and walks down to the prayer room. All this constitutes the
grihapravesh (griha – house, pravesh – entry) ceremony. The bride and
groom then perform Satyanarayana puja (prayer) showing their gratitude
to the lord. The bride and the groom’s side hold a reception for family
and friends. They may combine it with the wedding or may hold it
separately. This event is non-ritualistic. People come to offer their
greetings to the newly wedded couple. With so much of color, vibrancy,
food, people, rituals, music, fun and frolic, the Indian wedding is
truly a festival in itself! NAMASTE
